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I was cut out to be a pro golfer - But someone stitched me up wrong.
 
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10. I bent my shaft!
9. After 18 holes I can barely walk
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker
7. Look at the size of his putter
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first
3. My hands are so sweaty, I can't get a good grip
2. Nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired

And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in golf but isn't:
1. My wife kisses my balls for luck.
 
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